Coping with Relationship Anxiety

Anxiety has a tendency to touch a lot of areas of our lives. Anxiety tends to pop up in school with worry about tests and social friendships. Anxiety can lurk around work with fears of not doing well enough or worry about getting along with co-workers. So is it really any wonder that anxiety can impact our relationships?

Relationship anxiety can exist in many ways. Whether it’s anxiety about forming a relationship, or the start of a relationship or anxiety about continuing a relationship or anxiety experienced in the context of a relationship, many of these feelings are in fact quite common! Some people experience relationship anxiety during the start of a relationship, before they know their partner has an equal interest in them. Or, they might be unsure if they even want a relationship.

But these feelings can also come up in committed, long-term relationships. Most people feel a little insecure about their relationship at some point, especially in the early stages of dating and forming a commitment. This isn’t unusual. 

Relationship anxiety can look like

1. Wondering if you matter to your partner

2. Doubting your partner’s feelings for you

3. Worrying they want to break up

4. Doubting long-term compatibility

5. Sabotaging the relationship

6. Reading too deep into their words and actions

7. Missing out on the good times due to worry

So what do we do if we are experiencing relationship anxiety?

Start with open and honest communication. Anxiety often has us doubting our thoughts, our partner’s thoughts and even their words and actions. One way to combat this is to encourage open communication. Even if our brain doesn’t necessarily believe the communication at first, being open and honest can lead to a reduction in worry over time once our brain trusts that we are safe. 

Another great way to cope with relationship anxiety is practice mindfulness. Being aware of our thoughts and feelings and creating space between those thoughts and our actions can help lessen the control our thoughts have on us. When those impulsive thoughts pop up, try to distract yourself with some deep breathing, a walk or jog, or a quick phone call to a close friend.

Finally another way to combat these relationship anxieties is to contact a therapist. Here at Niyyah, we have a team of wonderful therapists that can help guide you through your relationship anxieties and help you capture that version of yourself that is confident and secure in your relationships. If you or a loved one are struggling with relationship anxiety, reach out to us today! Learn more and connect with us here at our site! https://www.niyyahcounselingpllc.com/contactus 

Coping with Back to School Stress

School can be stressful. Whether it is college, high school, middle school, elementary school or even graduate school (I can definitely validate that stress) school is simply stressful. We tend to put a lot of energy into school. This energy can be mental, emotional and physical in nature. No matter our age or grade level, school has a tendency to become all encompassing. Our whole lives can feel like they revolve around school. Our social relationships are strongly influenced by our schooling, our job outlooks often feel dependent on how we handle school, and we simply spend a lot of time at school or thinking about school. So it’s no wonder that we feel stress as we return to school. All this stress and that’s not even considering the pandemic stress on top of the usual school stress. 

So what do we do about that stress? Well luckily there are many ways we can combat school stressors. 

Step 1: Examine Our Stress. Sun Tzu wrote in the Art of War that “If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles.” While we may not be literally meeting our stress on a battlefield, it can certainly feel like it from time to time. The key part of any coping strategy is to understand what we are up against and know what we want to be on the other side of coping. Take some time to ask yourself where the stress comes from and what you want the stress to look like.

Step 2: Battle Plan! So we figured out the stressful parts of returning to school. Now it’s time to plan to combat the stress. Maybe you find deadlines for homework to be stressful, or maybe keeping up with assignments is causing stress. Try using sticky notes or other forms of reminders to help you stay on top of tasks. No matter what your source of stress is when it comes to school, creating a plan to address it can be extremely helpful.

Step 3: Adjust The Plan. The next important step is to adjust our plan. At times our stressors may shift or grow and shrink in intensity. To keep up with the changes it can be helpful to continually assess our plan along the way. Adjusting the plan is also important as it allows us to gauge whether our plan still serves its purpose.

Step 4: Reach out to a Niyyah Therapist. Sometimes school stress can be overwhelming. It can feel like no matter how much we plan, the stress does not seem to go away. That’s when an outside source would be super helpful! At Niyyah we can help you learn how to better handle school related stress. If you would like to have your very own Niyyah therapist. Contact us below today! https://www.niyyahcounselingpllc.com/contactus

Can Apps Actually Help You With Anxiety?

Anxiety: there’s an app for that…well, actually there are several! In today’s day and age, there seems to be an app for everything. Need a taxi? There’s an app! Ordering groceries? There’s an app. Dating? Guess what! Another app. It’s no wonder that apps are now attempting to tackle our mental health and anxiety. But do they work?

Yes* (you’ll notice the asterisk there). Not all apps are created equal! Headspace, Calm, and Moodkit can do wonders for our anxiety and mental health. However, it is important to know when to use these apps and when to speak to a professional. According to a 2018 study, mental health apps may help improve monitoring and management of various mental health conditions. Further research showed that the ease of use, and accessibility, allowed for increased engagement with treatment plans. 

I view apps as a supplement you may take, like vitamin C. Vitamins don’t replace the food that we eat, just like these apps are not designed to replace professional help from therapists. Apps are wonderful at introducing people to concepts, like anxiety, and even acting as helpful tools to utilize on your mental health journey. An app is very different from having a mental health professional in your corner. Apps are designed be very broad in order to cast a wide enough net to connect with the most amount of people. Oftentimes, apps can feel so broad, that some parts may not resonate with us. Others may feel as though the focus is so narrow, that we may not be able to relate to how it’s trying to help our mental health and anxiety. 

This is where mental health professionals come in. We have the unique ability to take our experience and professional knowledge and funnel it in such a way that speaks to you and your anxiety directly. While these apps are helpful, they don’t replace being able to process our thoughts and feelings out loud with a trained professional. If you or a loved one are struggling with anxiety, it may be time to seek professional help. Niyyah Counseling is here to help! Our therapists are trained to help guide you through the various anxieties that life throws at us. Click here to find your new therapist today! Click Here To Find Your Therapist

If you enjoyed this blog, you can even schedule with me directly. You can find my page here. I specialize in helping my clients on their own unique journey with anxiety. While chronic anxiety can often feel like a lifelong sentence, therapy can help guide you through a variety of techniques to address and reduce your anxiety symptoms! By utilizing an eclectic approach that pulls from scientific and evidence-based practices, therapy can help guide you from a fear of “what if” to an actualization of what can be!

Coping With Anxiety About Returning Diseases Like Polio By Connor Cohen, LMSW

In 2022 it can certainly feel like another day, another problem or another thing to be worried about. Each day as we turn on the news there seems to be more and more to worry about.  Global pandemics, climate change, inflation, recession the list seems to go on and on. And now the news says that polio is on the rise. 

No one would blame you if you're worried about polio,  the name alone elicits a response with the images of small children needing assistance to walk and visions of the iron lung helping keep people alive in the 1950's. While these are potential outcomes of polio, they don't quite tell the whole story. According to the CDC "About 1 out of 4 people (or 25 out of 100) with poliovirus infection will have flu-like symptoms." CDC (2022). These symptoms include sore throat, fever, tiredness, nausea, headache, and stomach pain. Also according to the CDC, those stereotypical symptoms of polio are rarer than some may think. "A smaller proportion of people with poliovirus infection will develop other, more serious symptoms that affect the brain and spinal cord" (CDC 2022). The most recent statistics as of the writing of this blog are as follows, meningitis occurs in about 5 out of 100 and paralysis occurs  in about 1 out of 200 people to 1 in 2000 people, depending on virus type. 

So what can we do if we're still anxious and worried about polio? 

Step one is to get informed. It may sound cliche but knowledge is in fact power and oftentimes the more we can understand the situation the less we tend to fear it. 

Step two:  Talk to your loved ones or doctor about your medical records.  If you were born after 1955 there's a good chance that you've already been vaccinated against polio.  If you have not received the vaccine,  start up a conversation with your health care professional about obtaining the vaccine.

Step three:  Now that you have gathered the needed information and potentially made a plan to get vaccinated,  it can be helpful to unplug from the news.  This doesn't mean sticking our head in the sand and avoiding completely.  What it means is being purposeful with the news that we are taking in.  A helpful tip would be to pick a specific news source that you trust and select a time that you would like to view each day.  In today's day and age it can be so easy to become overwhelmed by the massive amount of news so by limiting our intake strategically,  we can still be informed and limit our feelings of being overwhelmed.

Step four:  Take some time to relax.  Life in 2022 tends to be more on the stressful side. While taking time away from the news, practice self care! That could be physical exercise, eating well or a nice book that you've been meaning to read. 

Step five: Engage with your feelings and examine how you feel. Anxiety can make it feel like life is overwhelming and life can certainly present us with reasons to feel anxious. If you or a loved one are struggling with anxiety, it may be time to seek professional help. Niyyah Counseling is here to help! Our therapists are trained to help guide you through the various anxieties that life throws at us. Click here to find your new therapist today! Click Here To Find Your Therapist

If you enjoyed this blog, you can even schedule with me directly. You can find my page here. I specialize in helping my clients on their own unique journey with anxiety. While chronic anxiety can often feel like a lifelong sentence, therapy can help guide you through a variety of techniques to address and reduce your anxiety symptoms! By utilizing an eclectic approach that pulls from scientific and evidence-based practices, therapy can help guide you from a fear of “what if” to an actualization of what can be!

Coping with Anxiety About the Predicted Recession

Money. It’s pretty important. We sell things for it, we trade hours of our time for it. It is used to secure food and water, it is used to house our loved ones. Our society is run on money. So it’s no wonder that we would feel an emotional response to money. Money is often said to be the root of all evil, but could it also be a root of anxiety?

With all of the importance we tend to place on money, it’s no wonder that it takes up a lot of space in our collective consciousness. We can often find ourselves worrying about not having enough money, worrying about our next paycheck, worrying about our bills that come due each month time and time again. But what if our anxiety is broader than our own personal accounts? 

What if we find ourselves worried about a recession? The state of the economy can be the cause of a lot of stress and anxiety even if we don’t work on wall street. A recession can bring about concerns of our wellbeing and create a general sense of uneasiness. Here are some steps to help cope with anxiety about a predicted recession. 

Step 1: Remember that recessions are cyclical. 

While recessions can be scary. They are completely natural. On average a recession occurs in the United States every 6 or so years. 

Step 2: Examine your fears.

Talk about your fears, such as “I’m worried about a recession,” and then ask yourself, “Then what would happen?” Continue on from there, so if the answer to the first question was “I may lose my job,” ask yourself “Then what would happen?” Keep running all the scenarios from there. The more we understand our fears, the more we can create a plan to address them. 

Step 3: Make a plan

Anxiety lives and dwells in the what-if. Anxiety grows with the unknown. So naturally, a great way to reduce anxiety can be to create a plan so that the unknown becomes known. 

Anxiety is difficult, and let’s face it, in today’s day and age a lot of our anxiety tends to be justified and make sense. It is completely normal to worry about your financial future, but it is also completely normal to seek out help. 

If you or a loved one are struggling with anxiety during these times of economic uncertainty, Niyyah Counseling can help! Our therapists can help guide you through your anxious thoughts and teach you strategies to reduce the impact of those anxious thoughts.

Responding to comments that challenge Women’s rights by Kathleen Chandler, LMSW, PMH-C

Well, here we are. Our worst fears have come true. Now what?

First, do not even worry about commenting back to anyone who challenges the basic rights of Women- or any civil rights for that matter. We have more important things to do! You do not need to waste a single second of your precious time engaging that person.

Here is what I invite you to do instead:

Take a moment to check in with yourself. How are you holding up? Let yourself feel your full range of human emotions. Grieve. Seethe. Let the shock set in. Cry. Yell. Feel. Feel. Feel. Notice where you are holding any feelings or tension in your body. Breathe. Are you doing alright? Self-soothe as often as you need to! Call a friend. Connect with someone you love. Process together. Do what works for you! But whatever you do…don’t let yourself succumb to hopelessness. We can’t give into despair; we have work to do!

Next, we get logical. We problem solve. We do the things we know work. We get involved in the fight. The following actions are a better use of your time:

We don’t need to start from the ground up. There are so many organizations already in place. Join them! Donate, Volunteer, Organize, Vote.

https://www.plannedparenthoodaction.org/

https://www.prochoiceamerica.org/about/state-chapters/

https://www.emilyslist.org/

Lastly, you may be feeling like you don’t have value. I want to remind you of your worth and right to make your own choices regarding your body and life. I’ll leave you with these statements from our valued and trusted organizations around the world, as a reminder that this is not normal, or okay, and we are not alone in this fight.

The World Health Organization states, “Abortion is health care. Removing barriers to abortion protects women’s lives, health, and human rights”.

The United Nations states, “What has happened in the United States is a monumental setback for the rule of law and for gender equality. With the stroke of a pen and without sound legal reasoning, the US Supreme Court has stripped women and girls in the United States of legal protections necessary to ensure their ability to live with dignity. The decision to continue a pregnancy or terminate it must fundamentally and primarily be a woman’s decision as it will shape her whole future personal life and family life. The right of a woman to make autonomous decisions about her own body and reproductive functions is at the very core of her fundamental right to equality, non-discrimination, health, and privacy,”

The ACLU states, “The ability to decide whether and when to have children is essential to allowing people to control their own lives and futures. For many, having access to affordable abortion care opens the door to fulfilling educational and career goals, better parenting, staying true to gender identities, and other critical parts of life that everyone should have the ability to choose for themselves. No politician should make those decisions for us”.

The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists states, “Abortion is Essential Health Care”.

If you are feeling overwhelmed by the systems and people in your life telling you that you’re worth-less-than-a-fetus, the mental health professionals at Niyyah Counseling are here for you!

We offer free 15-minute consultations! Reach out today!

Can Games Help Mental Health?

Games offer us a chance to explore new worlds and open our perspectives to new realities. Whether they are video games, board games, or other traditional tabletop games, they can be used for more than just fun and a good time. We can actually learn a lot from these games. These games can allow us to practice skills that maybe we don't utilize often in our everyday life. Skills like communication, assertiveness, strategy, problem solving and critical thinking. Can games even help us with mental health issues? I would argue yes. Let's take DnD for example. On the surface this role-playing game from 1974 is about having a good time with a group of friends and weaving tales and stories about grand adventures over large pizza and some soda. But what if we dig a little deeper? It is there that we find all these wonderful skills or utilizing the play the game. Skills like communication to talk with your friends about the best strategy, critical thinking to plan the best way to attack the problem at hand, creativity to create your character and the world that it lives in. Now you might be asking yourself how exactly does this help with mental illness? Well let's take anxiety and depression. Individuals with anxiety and depression often have trouble with putting themselves out there. Anxiety will tell a person that it is not safe to speak up and depression will tell a person and they are not wanted when they speak up. But by playing this game individuals with anxiety can practice speaking up, they can practice building an ideal hero that is brave, courageous and speaks their mind. The individual with depression gets an opportunity to be a part of something bigger than themselves, it may not sound like much, but these quests and journeys can bring about a sense of meaning and belonging. This person and depression who was once very much isolated now has a group that they belong to, a social circle that lifts each other up. So it's never really just a game, it is the chance to build skills and relationships. It is an opportunity to safely face challenges and struggles. It is a way that people can learn and they can be resilient and persevere. It is a lesson and no matter how big and scary the monster is in that cave, you can put up a fight, you can gain experience, and you can win. These games also teach how to lose. Losing is never comfortable but it is an important lesson. In a lot of these games losing just means we have to go back to the drawing board and learn from our loss. With these games we can use experience win or lose to better ourselves, to better our characters. These games are more than just a game, they allow us to experience aspects of life without danger. If you or a loved one struggle with mental illness, maybe part of the journey is about a roll of the dice.

Does Depression Ever Go Away Completely? By Amanda Young LCSW

Depression can affect people in a way that we have never seen coming. Many people do not know what

depression is and if it will ever go away. Below, I will define what depression is, risk factors and

treatment. I will also answer the question, “Does depression ever go away completely?

Major depressive disorder (MDD) is the most common form of depression and can ebb and flow

throughout a person's lifetime. Symptoms typically associated with MDD include:

-Depressed mood or feeling sad

-Loss of interest in activities you once enjoyed

-Significant changes in your weight or appetite

-Sleep issues

-Feeling tired or fatigued

-Feeling worthless or guilty

-Thoughts of death or suicide

-Increased feelings of agitation

-Trouble thinking, concentrating, or making decisions

Symptoms of depression must be present for at least two weeks and interfere with your functioning. When

depression has been present for two years or more, persistent depressive disorder, formerly known as

dysthymia may be the right diagnosis.

There are risk factors that play a role in depression such as genetics, environmental factors, personality

factors and biochemistry, which puts a person at more risk to develop depression. Biochemistry is

differences in certain chemicals in the brain that may contribute to symptoms of depression and genetics

is when depression can run in families. Personality means people with low self-esteem, who are easily

overwhelmed by stress, or who are generally pessimistic appear to be more likely to experience

depression. Environmental factors are continuous exposure to violence, neglect, abuse or poverty may

make some people more vulnerable to depression.

In addition, depression can occur as a result from everyday stressors such as work, school, family,

divorce, death and unforeseen lifestyle changes. Depression also can be a result of a health condition such

as postpartum, thyroid or brain injury.

So to answer the question above, depression does not go away but it can be reduced to where you are no

longer experiencing symptoms daily. Depression does not have a cure but it can be managed where it is no

longer affecting your ability to function. Depression can be inhibited with psychotherapy (talk therapy),

lifestyle changes such as exercise, healthy eating and at times medication. Depression can be in remission

for a few days, weeks, years or even months but learning your triggers and being open to change can help

your depression from becoming worse. Niyyah Counseling Pllc has a variety of therapists that are readily

available to speak with you. If you feel you need to talk to someone to gain more insight please feel free to

book a free 15 minute consultation with one of our staff by clicking the link

https://www.niyyahcounselingpllc.com/our-team.

How To Manage Dating Anxiety By Connor Cohen, LMSW

Dating can be scary.  There's a lot of pressure nowadays to date and hopefully find the right person.  We can definitely feel overwhelmed. Anxiety can pop up in the dating scene any number of ways. Maybe we worry if this person sitting across from us at the table likes us, or maybe we worry about saying the wrong thing or not knowing what the right thing is to say.  Maybe we are worried about how we look and how this person thinks about us.  Or maybe we are worried that we won't find someone,  maybe anxiety lives in us  in such a way our worry is that all of our friends are coupling up and finding their loved ones, creating families, and moving on in life.  Maybe our dating anxiety is about feeling left behind so we feel this immense pressure internally to find someone.  Maybe that pressure is external, maybe our anxieties are rooted from family members asking "when are you going to find someone?"  "When will you finally settle down?".  There can be a lot of different pressures with dating both internal and external. So how do we cope with this anxiety of dating? 

I would say that step one is to focus on you.  Really look inward and examine what it is you want.  What do you want out of a relationship, what do you want out of a partner?  Asking yourself key questions can help us figure out which way to go and what exactly we're looking for.  Questions like, what is a good partner?  What is a healthy relationship? 

Step two  is simple on paper but often forgotten about.  Step two is to remember that you and any person you decide to date are human.  With dating and trying to find a wife or a husband or even just a long-term partner,  it is easy to get caught up in this idea that we have to be perfect.  It's easy to fall into the trap of “I have to be perfect for this person to love me”.  When we chase perfection we forget our humanity.  To be human is to be imperfect. 

Step 3 is also difficult at times.  And that's to be open and honest. Open honesty is  not only for prospective partners but ourselves. Not only do we owe it to them to be honest, we owe it to ourselves.  If you're not clicking with an individual,  be honest,  if you are intimidated by an upcoming date,  again be honest.  A lot of anxiety lives in the feeling that we can't let other people see our anxiety, it will scare them away. But by being honest about our feelings, we can gain back a sense of control over our emotions and feelings and ultimately our anxiety. 

Overall dating can be scary,  it can cause a lot of anxiety.  At the end of the day one key thing to remember is that if you want a relationship to work, you're going to want your partner to see the real you.  So always remember to be yourself.  If you are a loved one struggling with anxiety we are here to help.  Your friendly neighborhood therapist can help guide you through these anxieties.

What is Parental Burnout? By Kathleen Chandler, LMSW, PMH-C

Parental burnout is the emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual exhaustion from the ongoing demands and chronic stress of parenting. A lot of parents are feeling burnout right now! It is, after all, an incredibly overwhelming and challenging time to be a parent in the USA; two plus years of a pandemic, gun violence, formula shortages, natural disasters, war, and partisan politics. If you are feeling stressed, overwhelmed, and burned out right now; allow yourself permission to feel that way. You are not alone!

We are not our best selves when we are feeling overwhelmed and stressed out. As parents, it is important for us to practice self-soothing. First, because it is in your best interest; nobody feels good when they are overstimulated and overburdened. Second, because we want to model self-soothing for our children. We are our children’s calm; we need to be able to help them soothe.

Are you able to call a friend to vent? Can you schedule time away from your children to re-energize? Some of us have more support than others; don’t be afraid to ask for help from those you do have in your circle.

Many people cope by scrolling, overworking, shopping, or drinking alcohol. These are ways we escape having to feel. However, those coping strategies most often leave us feeling worse and they are not sustainable. Before you snap and yell at your child, go inward, toward yourself, and practice self-soothing.

If you are unable to use your support system and schedule some time away, you can use TIPP to help self-regulate:

Temperature: Cooling your body down can emotionally "cool" you down too. Place an Ice cube on the back of your neck or run cold water over your wrists.

Intense Exercise: Increased oxygen and endorphins help decrease stress chemicals. Go run up and down your stairs several times!

Deep Breathing: Increased oxygen activates our parasympathetic (calming) nervous system. Practice Square Breathing: Inhale for four, hold for four, exhale for four, hold for four. Repeat as necessary.

Paired Muscle Relaxation: The body responds to stress with muscle tension. PMR helps release the tension and thus reduces stress in the body.

If you are feeling inundated with chronic stress and constantly triggered, I encourage you to reach out to a therapist at Niyyah Counseling today! All our therapists are qualified to help you meet your mental health goals. Click here to check out our therapists: https://www.niyyahcounselingpllc.com/our-team. Feel free to reach out and interview our therapists to find the right fit for you! We offer free 15-minute consultations for your convenience.